Blood and Water
Jan. 5th, 2013 12:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
surgicalfocusTitle: Blood and water
Pairing: Baekhyun / Chanyeol
Rating: R
Prompt: i (picture)
Genre: romance, angst
Warnings: language, sexual references, allusions to domestic violence and homophobia
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or any lyrics used, just the story.
Word Count: ~3,500
Summary: They say blood’s thicker than water, but Baekhyun’s not so sure.
Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
aideshou challenge 07. This particular oneshot was also somewhat inspired by the song ‘Thirteen’ by Big Star.
“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again - I fucking love winter,” Chanyeol exclaimed happily.
“I know. You’ve only told me about a million times each winter since we met,” Baekhyun deadpanned.
He could still recall that time of his life like it was yesterday. He was thirteen and in his first year of middle school, and although barely pubescent, he’d already been much more world-weary than children his age were meant to be. He’d been so withdrawn and insecure back then, the unavoidable outcome of having had an abusive father and indifferent mother ever since he could remember.
Although he had formed several superficial relationships within the confines of the classroom, they never seemed to extend past the front gates; but then Chanyeol had transferred to the same school later that year, and for some reason had formed an instant attachment to the elder boy. Perhaps it was because he was so freakishly tall that everyone else shied away from him. Either way, Baekhyun had been so grateful just to have a real friend that Chanyeol could have had three heads for all he cared.
From that time onwards, they were virtually inseparable. Chanyeol was always there for Baekhyun through thick and thin, even when the latter had problems with his father – which was often. He didn’t want to think about how his life might have turned out if he hadn’t met the lanky boy with the heart of gold whom he loved so dearly.
The two seventeen-year-olds were sitting in the back seat of Chanyeol’s car, where they’d been talking for hours, huddled beneath the old blanket that he kept in the boot. It was a fairly new bonding ritual for the pair; Chanyeol had passed his driving test a few months prior, and the novelty of going on long drives just for the hell of it hadn’t really worn off yet.
“Are you going to take anyone to the school dance?” Baekhyun suddenly piped up, “I haven’t really decided whether or not to go. I don’t have anyone to ask, really..”
Chanyeol didn’t miss a beat with his answer.
“Why don’t we go together?”
Baekhyun started to laugh, but the giggles soon died down when he realized that Chanyeol wasn’t joking.
“What? We can’t go together, we’re both guys… It’ll look odd.”
Chanyeol shrugged.
“We’ve been joined at the hip since middle school. People probably expect us be each other’s dates..”
“But what if we get laughed at, or gay-bashed, or something…”
“Do you really care what people think? Let them laugh. And if anyone so much as comes near you, I’ll take them all down one by one.”
Baekhyun snorted and rolled his eyes.
“How? By staring at them creepily until they die? I don’t know enough Hapkido to defend us both..”
Chanyeol turned to look at him earnestly.
‘I’m not ashamed of you, Baek. I couldn’t give a rat’s arse what people think. I just want to be able to go to this dumb school event with my best friend; I don’t think that’s a weird thing to want.”
Baekhyun sighed.
“Alright, fine. It’s not like I have anyone else to go with anyway.”
Chanyeol grinned and ruffled his hair affectionately.
“Good Baekkie.”
“Let’s go home, it’s too fucking cold,” Baekhyun whined, his teeth chattering. The heating in Chanyeol’s sad old excuse for a vehicle didn’t work properly, and it was well below freezing outside.
“Come here, then, you big baby..”
Chanyeol wrapped his arms around Baekhyun, nuzzling into his neck and breathing in the scent of his hair, and the shorter boy sighed contentedly because his best friend was so warm, even though he was bony and as tall as a tree and had not an ounce of fat on him.
Chanyeol had always been warm. Warmth quite literally radiated off him in waves.
Apparently overcome by the tenderness of the moment, Chanyeol leaned down to kiss Baekhyun’s cheek fondly without really thinking too much about it. He did this at the same time that Baekhyun turned his head, and their mouths touched accidentally.
They looked at each other in slight shock at first, and then that was that. There was no going back, and they both knew it as soon as they saw the look in each other’s eyes. Four years of devoted friendship and the long-repressed stirrings of first love finally began to triumph over all the confusion about their feelings for each other. Their world changed forever with that simple, fortuitous brushing of lips, and there was nothing either of them could do to stop it, because they had both been paving the path to that very moment for much longer than they cared to realize.
Chanyeol leaned forward a little to kiss Baekhyun again, intentionally this time, and the shorter boy didn’t fight him. The initially chaste kisses grew increasingly impassioned, and inexperienced yet curious hands began to wander under layers of clothing.
Before things could go much further, Baekhyun gently but firmly pushed Chanyeol away. The taller boy looked puzzled.
“What’s wrong?”
“We can’t do this… You’re my best friend. It’s… it’s too weird.”
“How is it weird? I have feelings for you, Baek, and I think I’ve had them for a while now. And you clearly feel the same way about me, or else you wouldn’t be kissing me like that.”
Baekhyun shook his head.
“I won’t deny that I like you too, Channie, but we just can’t. I mean, we don’t even have… well, you know.”
Chanyeol gave him a knowing smile, and then reached over to the front of the car to unlatch the glove compartment.
Baekhyun’s eyes popped at the pile of ‘supplies’ that spilled out onto the front passenger seat.
“It was on my bucket list to get lucky in this car at least once. Well, maybe more than once..” Chanyeol shrugged with a bashful grin.
“Yeah, but not… not with me, surely..” Baekhyun stammered incredulously.
Chanyeol laughed airily and put an arm around his best friend’s shoulder.
“Maybe, maybe not… But right now, we’re both here, and we both like each other, and we both need a way to keep warm. So you’ll do."
He pulled Baekhyun closer and kissed him softly, and the latter kissed him back in spite of himself, because resistance was futile when warm arms were wrapped tightly around him and soft lips were pressed against his own.
They parted for a moment and Chanyeol gently caressed Baekhyun’s face with both hands. Love and traces of hormone-driven desire were evident in his eyes.
“You’ll do just fine,” he whispered.
It was both too cramped and too cold for them to take off their clothes entirely, so they made do with pushing their jeans down the tiniest amount that they could get away with, which only turned out to be more hindrance than help. They bumped into headrests and windows and door handles and each other, and the situation they’d gotten themselves into was so awkward and so wrong that they couldn’t help laughing at how strangely fitting it was.
“I can’t believe I just let my best friend pop my man-cherry in the back seat of a shitbox like this one. I feel like such a teenage cliché,” lamented Baekhyun when they were finished.
Chanyeol had collapsed against the seat, utterly spent from the physical exertion of first-time sex in a small car whilst almost fully clothed.
“Hey, leave my car alone. And quit your whining for a minute; I’m trying to bask in the remnants of post-coital euphoria over here.”
Baekhyun pushed the blanket onto the floor of the car, wrinkling his nose in distaste.
“You’ll want to wash this, I think. Sorry about that..”
“That’s alright. This was all my idea anyway.”
“I’m going to have trouble walking for the next few days, aren’t I...”
Chanyeol laughed breathlessly.
“I’ll carry you. I don’t mind.”
Baekhyun had mixed feelings about the night’s events.
“You’re my best friend. This should feel weird. It just should...”
“…And yet, it totally doesn’t?” Chanyeol piped up, finishing his sentence.
‘Well, yeah. If anything it feels right. It feels too damn right for it to be… right.”
“That’s the part I don’t get either.”
Baekhyun cleared a circle in the fogged-up glass of one of the rear windows so he could look outside.
‘Look, Chan,’ he breathed in awe, ‘it’s snowing..’
Chanyeol scooted across to cuddle his best friend from behind. He rested his chin on top of Baekhyun’s head and they both smiled as they watched the pretty white flakes gently coming to rest upon the earth.
“So it is.”
“It’s beautiful.”
Chanyeol kissed the side of Baekhyun’s neck and wrapped his arms tighter around him.
“So are you.”
* * *
The night after their little escapade, Chanyeol opened his front door to the sound of desperate knocking, only to find a distressed Baekhyun standing on his doorstep in the middle of a mild blizzard.
“Baekhyun, what are you doing, it’s fucking snowing out there. Please don’t tell me you walked all the way here from your house..”
“I know, I know.. I’m sorry. But it’s only a ten-minute walk, and I had a huge row with my father last night, and… I just really needed to see you.”
“You should have told me, I would have picked you up..”
“I couldn’t, he would have caught us. He’s had me under virtual house arrest since last night. I had to pretend I’d gone to sleep and sneak out my window just to get here..”
Chanyeol nodded with visible concern and pulled Baekhyun into the house.
“That bad, huh? Look at you, you’re shaking… you must be freezing. Quick, come inside..”
He took Baekhyun into his bedroom and closed the door behind them.
“Okay. Tell me what happened.”
“Well, after you dropped me home last night, he went off at me for getting home so late, and he was just going on and on about how I waste too much time with my ‘useless friend’, and then I got really angry and made the fatal error of blurting out that you weren’t useless and that I loved you. And then of course he just became a raving lunatic. He said that no son of his was going to turn into a faggot, and he’s expressly forbidden me to see you anymore, otherwise he'll kick me out."
Chanyeol shook his head in horror and disbelief.
“Fucking hell that’s intense… Baek, I’m so sorry, this is all my fault…”
He pulled Baekhyun close, holding him tightly, and the latter winced in pain. It took Chanyeol by surprise and he let go of the shorter boy before taking a step back.
“Baekhyun… why did you just flinch when I hugged you…?”
Baekhyun began to panic a little and shook his head insistently.
“I.. I didn’t..”
“Bullshit. Take your sweater off.”
“Chanyeol, please..”
“Take it off, I said,” Chanyeol said quietly, “or I’ll take it off for you.”
Baekhyun sighed heavily in defeat and removed his coat before pulling his sweater over his head.
Chanyeol took one look at the dark purple bruises marring the once-flawless expanse of porcelain skin and gasped.
“Baekhyun, what the fuck..”
He grabbed Baekhyun’s hands and pulled him forwards, inspecting the markings more closely. Angry tears began to pool in the corners of his eyes and Baekhyun found it immensely difficult to keep from crying himself.
Chanyeol kneeled down in front of him and hugged him, keeping his arms at hip level to avoid touching Baekhyun’s injured torso.
“We’re supposed to be best friends. When were you planning on fucking telling me about this..?”
“I was going to tell you, I really was… I just didn’t know how to say it. He doesn’t usually hit me, I promise you. Well… at least not like this..”
“Damn him,” Chanyeol whispered forcefully between clenched teeth, “damn him to hell for doing this to you.”
He stood up and guided Baekhyun over to his bed, where he set him down gently. He then lay on his side next to his best friend and began to soothingly stroke his hair. Neither of them felt the need to say a word; the tranquil silence they were able to share without any awkwardness seemed far more meaningful than anything they could have said.
Chanyeol suddenly leaned down and gingerly pressed his lips against one of the purple rings on Baekhyun’s ribs. The other boy didn’t react or try to stop him, so he carried on, kissing each of the bruises gently and reverently.
He was in the middle of doing so when Baekhyun moaned a little, and his head shot up in panic.
“I’m sorry, Baek, did I hurt you? I’ll stop..”
“No,” Baekhyun whispered, his breathing ragged and heavy. His back was arched slightly and his eyes were screwed shut, and Chanyeol couldn’t tell if it was from pleasure or pain. Maybe it was a little of both.
“Please, don’t stop..”
Baekhyun had his fingers entangled in Chanyeol’s hair, and he tried in vain to push the other’s head back down against his bare stomach.
“But Baek, you’re hurt…”
“I don’t care. It feels so good, and I want you, and I can’t.. I can’t fight it anymore.”
Chanyeol didn’t respond. He merely nodded in silence and gave Baekhyun what he wanted.
The act that inevitably followed was far removed from the clumsy, passion-fueled mess that had been their first time. It was slower and far more intimate, and they had much more freedom to explore each other than they’d had whilst crammed in the backseat of Chanyeol’s car.
Baekhyun was so deeply moved by the way Chanyeol expressed his love for him physically that he almost cried. It was in such stark contrast to the way his own father had mistreated him the day before.
Chanyeol fell asleep almost as soon it was over, his arms draped around Baekhyun, and the latter lay awake, his mind working overtime to process what had just happened.
He was scared, because this time it hadn’t been just a spur-of-the-moment quickie between best friends that they would laugh about later and forget eventually. What they’d just done was much more real. It had been pure, unadulterated lovemaking, and they were both well aware of the fact. It had felt so amazing in the heat of the moment, but now that he was back to reality, Baekhyun wasn't sure he was ready for it; and he knew he couldn’t allow Chanyeol to fall even harder for him when he couldn’t keep up his own end of the bargain.
Carefully, so as not to wake the other boy up, he got out of bed and began to clothe himself in the dark. He was at the door putting his boots on when he heard hurried footsteps behind him.
“Don’t go back there,” pleaded Chanyeol, the words tumbling out of his mouth half-incoherently from drowsiness and desperation, “please… stay here with me.”
Baekhyun shook his head.
“Chanyeol, I’m really sorry, but I can’t do this anymore, or my father will make my life a living hell. So just do us both a favour and forget about me.”
He could only look back at a visibly distraught Chanyeol helplessly before turning his back on him and leaving the house. He shut the front door quietly behind him and began to make his way home through the snow, the tears rolling down his cheeks and solidifying into crystals before they even hit the ground.
* * *
They didn’t talk for a long while afterwards. Chanyeol tried to approach Baekhyun at school, but the latter would only whisper “Chanyeol, please don’t..” every time he came near. Every phone call went unanswered.
Eventually, to Baekhyun’s simultaneous relief and despair, Chanyeol appeared to have given up. Or at least that was what he thought.
It had been a couple of weeks since they’d last spoken. Baekhyun was in his room when he heard the sound of something hard ricocheting off his window and jumped.
Then he heard it a second time, and a third.
He drew back the curtains and threw the window open, and his eyes widened at what he saw.
There stood Chanyeol on his front lawn, wearing a tuxedo. His hair was swept back and he wore a red rose in the breast pocket of his jacket. He was holding another rose, and the snowflakes that were collecting on his shoulders sparkled in the moonlight.
After the stress of the last few weeks, Baekhyun had almost completely forgotten about the impending school dance. He nearly choked because Chanyeol looked too amazing to be real.
“Good evening, fair maiden. I’ve come to set you free,” the taller boy said with a smile. He bowed graciously in Baekhyun’s direction.
“Chanyeol, I told you I’m not supposed to see you anymore..”
“I know, Baek… But the dance is tonight, and I really want to take you, just like we planned. I’ve got a suit waiting for you in the car and everything. So don’t be a buzz-kill and just say you’ll come with me.”
Baekhyun looked behind him anxiously, worried that they were being overheard.
“I can’t, Chan, my parents..”
“Just climb out the window. They won’t even know.”
Baekhyun went to his closet and pulled out his coat and boots. He threw them on and crawled through the open window to stand on the front porch.
“Just forget it, Chanyeol. There was never really any point in us getting too invested in this; it was destined to end before it even began. Now get out of the snow before you catch your death, you’re not wearing enough layers to be outside in this weather.”
Chanyeol’s expression darkened.
“I’m always going to come last with you, aren’t I..?”
Tears began to well up in Baekhyun’s eyes.
“I can’t do anything about it, Chanyeol. They’re my family. The only one I’ve got..”
“So what? They don’t deserve to be called your family. Your father treats you like shit. He’s been destroying you little by little for years, and you just let him do it because deep down, you believe every vile word that comes out of his mouth. Your mother doesn’t do a thing to help you either; she’s too busy being afraid of your dad to do anything without his say-so. You know I’m right. I’ve been to your house enough times to know what’s going on, Baekhyun, so don’t treat me like a fucking fool.”
“I know… I know,” Baekhyun sobbed, “but you don’t understand. I don’t know how to leave. I can’t leave..”
Chanyeol had to keep himself from tearing his impeccably-styled hair out due to frustration.
“You can, Baek. You could have it so much better. Just… come with me. Get in my car with me right now, and I’ll take you away from all of this. You can stay with me, and I’ll take care of you, for as long as you want me to. Forever.”
“No… That’s insane. We’re too young, we can’t..”
“I know,” Chanyeol cried, “I know it’s insane. It’s fucking crazy, and I’m fucking crazy… but I’m crazy about you, Baekhyun. I’m in love with you, and I can’t run from you anymore, because you’re everywhere, and you’re my everything. Let me be the same for you. I’ll be the real family that you deserve.”
“Chanyeol, I don’t even know what to say..”
“You don’t have to say anything at all. If you do come, it’s of your own free will; I won’t make you. But you should know that if you move even one step closer from where you’re standing right now, I’ll be taking you with me by force. That’s my final warning.”
Chanyeol remained where he was for several minutes, the snow blanketing his hair, and they just looked at each other. Neither of them said a word, nor did they move a muscle.
Baekhyun was firmly rooted to the spot, torn over the two people in the house behind him and the boy standing in front of him, and it was so unbearably difficult to have to choose between the blood in his veins and the love in his heart.
Eventually Chanyeol shook his head and turned to leave, his eyes already beginning to mist over.
“It’s okay,” he said, his voice cracking audibly, “I think I get it now.”
Baekhyun watched him walk away helplessly, his mind still scrambling around in a desperate bid to weigh up his choices.
Years of familial coldness and abuse, or years of friendship that promised to blossom into years of love?
Blood, or water?
When it boiled down to those two things, the answer suddenly became a lot clearer, because to Baekhyun, the water felt a lot more like blood, and the blood was little more than water.
“Chanyeol, wait!”
Up ahead, the distant figure stopped dead in his tracks before slowly turning around to look at Baekhyun. He walked back towards him in silence and held out his hand.
Baekhyun looked at it for a long time. Eventually he took Chanyeol’s hand in his own, and almost instantly, warmth began to sear through his veins, thawing out his tired, rigid body.
“No looking back, right?”
Although he was staring right into the frighteningly blank face of uncertainty, Baekhyun nodded and managed a genuine smile.
“Right.”
~
Would you be an outlaw for my love?
If it’s so, then let me know.
____________________________________________________________
Pairing: Baekhyun / Chanyeol
Rating: R
Prompt: i (picture)
Genre: romance, angst
Warnings: language, sexual references, allusions to domestic violence and homophobia
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or any lyrics used, just the story.
Word Count: ~3,500
Summary: They say blood’s thicker than water, but Baekhyun’s not so sure.
Written for
aideshou challenge 07. This particular oneshot was also somewhat inspired by the song ‘Thirteen’ by Big Star.“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again - I fucking love winter,” Chanyeol exclaimed happily.
“I know. You’ve only told me about a million times each winter since we met,” Baekhyun deadpanned.
He could still recall that time of his life like it was yesterday. He was thirteen and in his first year of middle school, and although barely pubescent, he’d already been much more world-weary than children his age were meant to be. He’d been so withdrawn and insecure back then, the unavoidable outcome of having had an abusive father and indifferent mother ever since he could remember.
Although he had formed several superficial relationships within the confines of the classroom, they never seemed to extend past the front gates; but then Chanyeol had transferred to the same school later that year, and for some reason had formed an instant attachment to the elder boy. Perhaps it was because he was so freakishly tall that everyone else shied away from him. Either way, Baekhyun had been so grateful just to have a real friend that Chanyeol could have had three heads for all he cared.
From that time onwards, they were virtually inseparable. Chanyeol was always there for Baekhyun through thick and thin, even when the latter had problems with his father – which was often. He didn’t want to think about how his life might have turned out if he hadn’t met the lanky boy with the heart of gold whom he loved so dearly.
The two seventeen-year-olds were sitting in the back seat of Chanyeol’s car, where they’d been talking for hours, huddled beneath the old blanket that he kept in the boot. It was a fairly new bonding ritual for the pair; Chanyeol had passed his driving test a few months prior, and the novelty of going on long drives just for the hell of it hadn’t really worn off yet.
“Are you going to take anyone to the school dance?” Baekhyun suddenly piped up, “I haven’t really decided whether or not to go. I don’t have anyone to ask, really..”
Chanyeol didn’t miss a beat with his answer.
“Why don’t we go together?”
Baekhyun started to laugh, but the giggles soon died down when he realized that Chanyeol wasn’t joking.
“What? We can’t go together, we’re both guys… It’ll look odd.”
Chanyeol shrugged.
“We’ve been joined at the hip since middle school. People probably expect us be each other’s dates..”
“But what if we get laughed at, or gay-bashed, or something…”
“Do you really care what people think? Let them laugh. And if anyone so much as comes near you, I’ll take them all down one by one.”
Baekhyun snorted and rolled his eyes.
“How? By staring at them creepily until they die? I don’t know enough Hapkido to defend us both..”
Chanyeol turned to look at him earnestly.
‘I’m not ashamed of you, Baek. I couldn’t give a rat’s arse what people think. I just want to be able to go to this dumb school event with my best friend; I don’t think that’s a weird thing to want.”
Baekhyun sighed.
“Alright, fine. It’s not like I have anyone else to go with anyway.”
Chanyeol grinned and ruffled his hair affectionately.
“Good Baekkie.”
“Let’s go home, it’s too fucking cold,” Baekhyun whined, his teeth chattering. The heating in Chanyeol’s sad old excuse for a vehicle didn’t work properly, and it was well below freezing outside.
“Come here, then, you big baby..”
Chanyeol wrapped his arms around Baekhyun, nuzzling into his neck and breathing in the scent of his hair, and the shorter boy sighed contentedly because his best friend was so warm, even though he was bony and as tall as a tree and had not an ounce of fat on him.
Chanyeol had always been warm. Warmth quite literally radiated off him in waves.
Apparently overcome by the tenderness of the moment, Chanyeol leaned down to kiss Baekhyun’s cheek fondly without really thinking too much about it. He did this at the same time that Baekhyun turned his head, and their mouths touched accidentally.
They looked at each other in slight shock at first, and then that was that. There was no going back, and they both knew it as soon as they saw the look in each other’s eyes. Four years of devoted friendship and the long-repressed stirrings of first love finally began to triumph over all the confusion about their feelings for each other. Their world changed forever with that simple, fortuitous brushing of lips, and there was nothing either of them could do to stop it, because they had both been paving the path to that very moment for much longer than they cared to realize.
Chanyeol leaned forward a little to kiss Baekhyun again, intentionally this time, and the shorter boy didn’t fight him. The initially chaste kisses grew increasingly impassioned, and inexperienced yet curious hands began to wander under layers of clothing.
Before things could go much further, Baekhyun gently but firmly pushed Chanyeol away. The taller boy looked puzzled.
“What’s wrong?”
“We can’t do this… You’re my best friend. It’s… it’s too weird.”
“How is it weird? I have feelings for you, Baek, and I think I’ve had them for a while now. And you clearly feel the same way about me, or else you wouldn’t be kissing me like that.”
Baekhyun shook his head.
“I won’t deny that I like you too, Channie, but we just can’t. I mean, we don’t even have… well, you know.”
Chanyeol gave him a knowing smile, and then reached over to the front of the car to unlatch the glove compartment.
Baekhyun’s eyes popped at the pile of ‘supplies’ that spilled out onto the front passenger seat.
“It was on my bucket list to get lucky in this car at least once. Well, maybe more than once..” Chanyeol shrugged with a bashful grin.
“Yeah, but not… not with me, surely..” Baekhyun stammered incredulously.
Chanyeol laughed airily and put an arm around his best friend’s shoulder.
“Maybe, maybe not… But right now, we’re both here, and we both like each other, and we both need a way to keep warm. So you’ll do."
He pulled Baekhyun closer and kissed him softly, and the latter kissed him back in spite of himself, because resistance was futile when warm arms were wrapped tightly around him and soft lips were pressed against his own.
They parted for a moment and Chanyeol gently caressed Baekhyun’s face with both hands. Love and traces of hormone-driven desire were evident in his eyes.
“You’ll do just fine,” he whispered.
It was both too cramped and too cold for them to take off their clothes entirely, so they made do with pushing their jeans down the tiniest amount that they could get away with, which only turned out to be more hindrance than help. They bumped into headrests and windows and door handles and each other, and the situation they’d gotten themselves into was so awkward and so wrong that they couldn’t help laughing at how strangely fitting it was.
“I can’t believe I just let my best friend pop my man-cherry in the back seat of a shitbox like this one. I feel like such a teenage cliché,” lamented Baekhyun when they were finished.
Chanyeol had collapsed against the seat, utterly spent from the physical exertion of first-time sex in a small car whilst almost fully clothed.
“Hey, leave my car alone. And quit your whining for a minute; I’m trying to bask in the remnants of post-coital euphoria over here.”
Baekhyun pushed the blanket onto the floor of the car, wrinkling his nose in distaste.
“You’ll want to wash this, I think. Sorry about that..”
“That’s alright. This was all my idea anyway.”
“I’m going to have trouble walking for the next few days, aren’t I...”
Chanyeol laughed breathlessly.
“I’ll carry you. I don’t mind.”
Baekhyun had mixed feelings about the night’s events.
“You’re my best friend. This should feel weird. It just should...”
“…And yet, it totally doesn’t?” Chanyeol piped up, finishing his sentence.
‘Well, yeah. If anything it feels right. It feels too damn right for it to be… right.”
“That’s the part I don’t get either.”
Baekhyun cleared a circle in the fogged-up glass of one of the rear windows so he could look outside.
‘Look, Chan,’ he breathed in awe, ‘it’s snowing..’
Chanyeol scooted across to cuddle his best friend from behind. He rested his chin on top of Baekhyun’s head and they both smiled as they watched the pretty white flakes gently coming to rest upon the earth.
“So it is.”
“It’s beautiful.”
Chanyeol kissed the side of Baekhyun’s neck and wrapped his arms tighter around him.
“So are you.”
The night after their little escapade, Chanyeol opened his front door to the sound of desperate knocking, only to find a distressed Baekhyun standing on his doorstep in the middle of a mild blizzard.
“Baekhyun, what are you doing, it’s fucking snowing out there. Please don’t tell me you walked all the way here from your house..”
“I know, I know.. I’m sorry. But it’s only a ten-minute walk, and I had a huge row with my father last night, and… I just really needed to see you.”
“You should have told me, I would have picked you up..”
“I couldn’t, he would have caught us. He’s had me under virtual house arrest since last night. I had to pretend I’d gone to sleep and sneak out my window just to get here..”
Chanyeol nodded with visible concern and pulled Baekhyun into the house.
“That bad, huh? Look at you, you’re shaking… you must be freezing. Quick, come inside..”
He took Baekhyun into his bedroom and closed the door behind them.
“Okay. Tell me what happened.”
“Well, after you dropped me home last night, he went off at me for getting home so late, and he was just going on and on about how I waste too much time with my ‘useless friend’, and then I got really angry and made the fatal error of blurting out that you weren’t useless and that I loved you. And then of course he just became a raving lunatic. He said that no son of his was going to turn into a faggot, and he’s expressly forbidden me to see you anymore, otherwise he'll kick me out."
Chanyeol shook his head in horror and disbelief.
“Fucking hell that’s intense… Baek, I’m so sorry, this is all my fault…”
He pulled Baekhyun close, holding him tightly, and the latter winced in pain. It took Chanyeol by surprise and he let go of the shorter boy before taking a step back.
“Baekhyun… why did you just flinch when I hugged you…?”
Baekhyun began to panic a little and shook his head insistently.
“I.. I didn’t..”
“Bullshit. Take your sweater off.”
“Chanyeol, please..”
“Take it off, I said,” Chanyeol said quietly, “or I’ll take it off for you.”
Baekhyun sighed heavily in defeat and removed his coat before pulling his sweater over his head.
Chanyeol took one look at the dark purple bruises marring the once-flawless expanse of porcelain skin and gasped.
“Baekhyun, what the fuck..”
He grabbed Baekhyun’s hands and pulled him forwards, inspecting the markings more closely. Angry tears began to pool in the corners of his eyes and Baekhyun found it immensely difficult to keep from crying himself.
Chanyeol kneeled down in front of him and hugged him, keeping his arms at hip level to avoid touching Baekhyun’s injured torso.
“We’re supposed to be best friends. When were you planning on fucking telling me about this..?”
“I was going to tell you, I really was… I just didn’t know how to say it. He doesn’t usually hit me, I promise you. Well… at least not like this..”
“Damn him,” Chanyeol whispered forcefully between clenched teeth, “damn him to hell for doing this to you.”
He stood up and guided Baekhyun over to his bed, where he set him down gently. He then lay on his side next to his best friend and began to soothingly stroke his hair. Neither of them felt the need to say a word; the tranquil silence they were able to share without any awkwardness seemed far more meaningful than anything they could have said.
Chanyeol suddenly leaned down and gingerly pressed his lips against one of the purple rings on Baekhyun’s ribs. The other boy didn’t react or try to stop him, so he carried on, kissing each of the bruises gently and reverently.
He was in the middle of doing so when Baekhyun moaned a little, and his head shot up in panic.
“I’m sorry, Baek, did I hurt you? I’ll stop..”
“No,” Baekhyun whispered, his breathing ragged and heavy. His back was arched slightly and his eyes were screwed shut, and Chanyeol couldn’t tell if it was from pleasure or pain. Maybe it was a little of both.
“Please, don’t stop..”
Baekhyun had his fingers entangled in Chanyeol’s hair, and he tried in vain to push the other’s head back down against his bare stomach.
“But Baek, you’re hurt…”
“I don’t care. It feels so good, and I want you, and I can’t.. I can’t fight it anymore.”
Chanyeol didn’t respond. He merely nodded in silence and gave Baekhyun what he wanted.
The act that inevitably followed was far removed from the clumsy, passion-fueled mess that had been their first time. It was slower and far more intimate, and they had much more freedom to explore each other than they’d had whilst crammed in the backseat of Chanyeol’s car.
Baekhyun was so deeply moved by the way Chanyeol expressed his love for him physically that he almost cried. It was in such stark contrast to the way his own father had mistreated him the day before.
Chanyeol fell asleep almost as soon it was over, his arms draped around Baekhyun, and the latter lay awake, his mind working overtime to process what had just happened.
He was scared, because this time it hadn’t been just a spur-of-the-moment quickie between best friends that they would laugh about later and forget eventually. What they’d just done was much more real. It had been pure, unadulterated lovemaking, and they were both well aware of the fact. It had felt so amazing in the heat of the moment, but now that he was back to reality, Baekhyun wasn't sure he was ready for it; and he knew he couldn’t allow Chanyeol to fall even harder for him when he couldn’t keep up his own end of the bargain.
Carefully, so as not to wake the other boy up, he got out of bed and began to clothe himself in the dark. He was at the door putting his boots on when he heard hurried footsteps behind him.
“Don’t go back there,” pleaded Chanyeol, the words tumbling out of his mouth half-incoherently from drowsiness and desperation, “please… stay here with me.”
Baekhyun shook his head.
“Chanyeol, I’m really sorry, but I can’t do this anymore, or my father will make my life a living hell. So just do us both a favour and forget about me.”
He could only look back at a visibly distraught Chanyeol helplessly before turning his back on him and leaving the house. He shut the front door quietly behind him and began to make his way home through the snow, the tears rolling down his cheeks and solidifying into crystals before they even hit the ground.
They didn’t talk for a long while afterwards. Chanyeol tried to approach Baekhyun at school, but the latter would only whisper “Chanyeol, please don’t..” every time he came near. Every phone call went unanswered.
Eventually, to Baekhyun’s simultaneous relief and despair, Chanyeol appeared to have given up. Or at least that was what he thought.
It had been a couple of weeks since they’d last spoken. Baekhyun was in his room when he heard the sound of something hard ricocheting off his window and jumped.
Then he heard it a second time, and a third.
He drew back the curtains and threw the window open, and his eyes widened at what he saw.
There stood Chanyeol on his front lawn, wearing a tuxedo. His hair was swept back and he wore a red rose in the breast pocket of his jacket. He was holding another rose, and the snowflakes that were collecting on his shoulders sparkled in the moonlight.
After the stress of the last few weeks, Baekhyun had almost completely forgotten about the impending school dance. He nearly choked because Chanyeol looked too amazing to be real.
“Good evening, fair maiden. I’ve come to set you free,” the taller boy said with a smile. He bowed graciously in Baekhyun’s direction.
“Chanyeol, I told you I’m not supposed to see you anymore..”
“I know, Baek… But the dance is tonight, and I really want to take you, just like we planned. I’ve got a suit waiting for you in the car and everything. So don’t be a buzz-kill and just say you’ll come with me.”
Baekhyun looked behind him anxiously, worried that they were being overheard.
“I can’t, Chan, my parents..”
“Just climb out the window. They won’t even know.”
Baekhyun went to his closet and pulled out his coat and boots. He threw them on and crawled through the open window to stand on the front porch.
“Just forget it, Chanyeol. There was never really any point in us getting too invested in this; it was destined to end before it even began. Now get out of the snow before you catch your death, you’re not wearing enough layers to be outside in this weather.”
Chanyeol’s expression darkened.
“I’m always going to come last with you, aren’t I..?”
Tears began to well up in Baekhyun’s eyes.
“I can’t do anything about it, Chanyeol. They’re my family. The only one I’ve got..”
“So what? They don’t deserve to be called your family. Your father treats you like shit. He’s been destroying you little by little for years, and you just let him do it because deep down, you believe every vile word that comes out of his mouth. Your mother doesn’t do a thing to help you either; she’s too busy being afraid of your dad to do anything without his say-so. You know I’m right. I’ve been to your house enough times to know what’s going on, Baekhyun, so don’t treat me like a fucking fool.”
“I know… I know,” Baekhyun sobbed, “but you don’t understand. I don’t know how to leave. I can’t leave..”
Chanyeol had to keep himself from tearing his impeccably-styled hair out due to frustration.
“You can, Baek. You could have it so much better. Just… come with me. Get in my car with me right now, and I’ll take you away from all of this. You can stay with me, and I’ll take care of you, for as long as you want me to. Forever.”
“No… That’s insane. We’re too young, we can’t..”
“I know,” Chanyeol cried, “I know it’s insane. It’s fucking crazy, and I’m fucking crazy… but I’m crazy about you, Baekhyun. I’m in love with you, and I can’t run from you anymore, because you’re everywhere, and you’re my everything. Let me be the same for you. I’ll be the real family that you deserve.”
“Chanyeol, I don’t even know what to say..”
“You don’t have to say anything at all. If you do come, it’s of your own free will; I won’t make you. But you should know that if you move even one step closer from where you’re standing right now, I’ll be taking you with me by force. That’s my final warning.”
Chanyeol remained where he was for several minutes, the snow blanketing his hair, and they just looked at each other. Neither of them said a word, nor did they move a muscle.
Baekhyun was firmly rooted to the spot, torn over the two people in the house behind him and the boy standing in front of him, and it was so unbearably difficult to have to choose between the blood in his veins and the love in his heart.
Eventually Chanyeol shook his head and turned to leave, his eyes already beginning to mist over.
“It’s okay,” he said, his voice cracking audibly, “I think I get it now.”
Baekhyun watched him walk away helplessly, his mind still scrambling around in a desperate bid to weigh up his choices.
Years of familial coldness and abuse, or years of friendship that promised to blossom into years of love?
Blood, or water?
When it boiled down to those two things, the answer suddenly became a lot clearer, because to Baekhyun, the water felt a lot more like blood, and the blood was little more than water.
“Chanyeol, wait!”
Up ahead, the distant figure stopped dead in his tracks before slowly turning around to look at Baekhyun. He walked back towards him in silence and held out his hand.
Baekhyun looked at it for a long time. Eventually he took Chanyeol’s hand in his own, and almost instantly, warmth began to sear through his veins, thawing out his tired, rigid body.
“No looking back, right?”
Although he was staring right into the frighteningly blank face of uncertainty, Baekhyun nodded and managed a genuine smile.
“Right.”
Would you be an outlaw for my love?
If it’s so, then let me know.
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