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surgicalfocusTitle: Honey Won’t You Let Me In – Part 4
Pairing: Baekhyun/Chanyeol
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Romance, Vampire!AU. Sort of inspired by Let The Right One In.
Length: Four parts
Word Count: ~4,700
Warnings: Mild language, love scene (not explicit). Any lyrics used do not belong to me.
Summary:Possibly a better love story than Twilight.
“Baekhyun, it’s me,” Chanyeol says, knocking loudly on Baekhyun’s front door. “Let me in.”
The door opens a fraction, and Chanyeol sees an eye peer at him warily through the crack. Before he can open his mouth to speak, Baekhyun pulls him inside the apartment and shuts the door, making sure to lock it afterwards.
Chanyeol takes one look at Baekhyun’s pale, gaunt features, marked by stress and anxiety, and his own hardened expression softens instantly.
“So. Mr Mysterio,” he says at last, “any other secrets you want to get off your chest..?”
Baekhyun shakes his head and offers Chanyeol a weak smile. “No, I'm pretty sure that's the last of them..”
Chanyeol follows him into the living room – still mostly devoid of furniture - and makes himself comfortable on the floor. “Who the hell was that guy, anyway..?”
“Just some drunk idiot wanting to reveal my identity to the world, apparently,” Baekhyun replies, sitting on the floor next to him. “It happens now and then.”
“Shit. Do you think those people will be okay..?”
“I didn't hang around long enough to find out. I've never had someone actually attack me on stage like that before…” Baekhyun adds thoughtfully. “Sometimes I’ll get a few hangers-on waiting around outside my dressing room after a show, hoping to catch a glimpse of me coming out, but that’s the worst of it. Oh well. It was fun while it lasted, but I guess I'll have to think up another gimmick..”
“You played beautifully,” Chanyeol says quietly. “At some points I had tears in my eyes. Until I realised it was you all along, I was feeling sorry for you because you were missing out on such a brilliant performance.”
Baekhyun smiles wryly. “What gave me away? Was it the dude pulling my mask off, or..?”
“No, silly. It was that song. The same one you played for me that night...”
“You mean that night when I made sweet, passionate love to you for the first time, and then you walked in on me while I was covered in some unfortunate creature's blood?” Baekhyun sighs. “Yes, I remember it well.”
Chanyeol laughs. “Yep, that's the one..”
Baekhyun pauses for a moment to look at Chanyeol earnestly.
“I played that song for you, you know. I made a silent dedication to you inside my head, hoping to God you'd hear it somehow. And I wanted to tell you; I really did... when the time was right. But it just never felt right.”
“You know, I never asked,” Chanyeol says quietly, “but what brought you here in the first place?”
Baekhyun leans over to rest his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder.
“I knew you were living here…” he whispers. “I would listen to your show whenever I was in town for a performance, and I just wanted so much to bump into you again. Just once. And then I finally did, and... well... I decided to stay.”
“So you really did recognise me that day..?” Chanyeol asks, taking Baekhyun’s hand and stroking it gently.
“Yes. You’ve changed a lot since we were kids, but I recognised you instantly. I would never have had the guts to talk to you, but I never expected you to approach me, either. When you did, I was worried that it was because you somehow recognised me too, but it soon became clear that you didn't, and I thought maybe it was better that way. If I just kept quiet about my past, we could start over, and this time it wouldn't all be a lie. I wouldn't be pretending to be someone I'm not...”
Baekhyun sighs and squeezes Chanyeol’s hand.
“None of that matters now, though,” he says sadly. “I’ve gone and fucked it all up again, as usual.”
“Well, what about the vampire thing?” Chanyeol asks, “was there ever going to be a right time to tell me that?”
“I'm a monster,” Baekhyun replies, his voice barely a whisper. “You said it yourself. Why would you ever want to be with someone like me, if I’d told you the truth?”
Chanyeol opens his mouth to speak, but then pauses for a moment, lost in thought. Eventually he comes to the conclusion that there are still many things about Baekhyun he doesn’t really know: who he really is, where he really came from, what secrets he might still be carrying… but he is sure of one thing.
“I don't know,” he says, “but I do want you. I want you more than anything.”
“Well… which side of me do you want? Do you want me because I’m Taeyeon, or because I’m Baekhyun?”
“I want both of you… all of you. I don’t care who or what you are,” Chanyeol whispers, and he cradles Baekhyun’s head in both hands, kissing him softly. Baekhyun seems surprised at first, but then he closes his eyes and opens his mouth a little wider, his fingers lacing together around Chanyeol’s neck.
“I'm so sorry for calling you a monster,” Chanyeol says when they pause for breath. “To tell you the truth, I’ve met plenty of people who are the very definition of a monster, and you’re anything but. I loved you when we were kids, and I love you now. Nothing has changed. Well, I mean, you've changed … but my feelings for you haven't. Maybe I’m just a little surer of myself than I was then. Or maybe I just see these feelings now for what they really are..”
Baekhyun smiles and gives Chanyeol a playful little peck on the cheek. “You're rambling again, you know.”
“I know. I'm sorry... I’m not good at this kind of stuff..” Chanyeol replies, wringing his hands helplessly.
“Don't be sorry. I like hearing you speak, even when you’re not making any sense. I’ve really missed it.”
“Well, I’ve missed you too,” Chanyeol admits, “even when I was angry, I still missed you. I’ve missed holding you, and kissing you, and I was kind of hoping we could have a repeat of the last night we spent together. Right up until the part with the blood, anyway.”
Baekhyun smiles mischievously, biting his lip in that same infuriatingly sexy way he always does. “You still want me even though I’m a nasty bloodsucking freak..?”
“Those are your words, not mine – but yes. Yes, I really do.”
“Good enough for me,” Baekhyun replies, pulling Chanyeol roughly to his feet. Before Chanyeol has time to react, Baekhyun lifts him up as though he weighs nothing, and carries him to the bedroom like a groom carrying his new bride.
Well, this is different, Chanyeol thinks.
But I think I like it.
Chanyeol expects to be thrown down upon the mattress, but instead Baekhyun lays him down gently, pinning him against the bed and kissing him with great enthusiasm. Chanyeol moans softly in response, wrapping his legs around Baekhyun’s hips and drawing him closer.
“God, I love you,” Baekhyun whispers. “I really, really love you..”
“God loves you too,” Chanyeol whispers back.
“Shut up and kiss me..” Baekhyun purrs in his ear, and he begins to relieve Chanyeol of his clothing little by little.
Chanyeol can't get his head around it. How could someone so much smaller than him throw him over his shoulder with such ease one minute, and then undress him with such gentle reverence the next?
Had he really witnessed Baekhyun throwing a fully-grown man across the room earlier that same evening? It doesn't seem possible anymore.
I must’ve dreamt the whole thing.
It doesn’t even occur to Chanyeol to feel shy this time, and he joins Baekhyun in the task of removing both of their clothes, until there’s no longer anything between them -- just flesh against flesh, in all its varying textures -- soft and smooth; rough and calloused; peppered with welts or goosebumps, and shining with sweat. Baekhyun covers him from head to toe with kisses, and anyone would think they’d been apart for a hundred years instead of only several days.
Maybe several days feels like a hundred years when you're in love.
It’s all so emotionally overwhelming that Chanyeol feels like crying.
Baekhyun hesitates for a moment, his lips hovering just above Chanyeol's pulse. “Is it okay if I kiss you here..?”
“Yes,” Chanyeol replies, but he can’t help swallowing nervously all the same. "I trust you.”
For a second or two he holds his breath, half expecting to feel the sharp pain of Baekhyun’s teeth piercing his skin, but there is none – only the sensation of warm, moist lips trailing soft kisses over his throat and pausing at the base of his neck.
“I could feel your pulse speeding up just now,” Baekhyun whispers. “I hope it’s because I’m turning you on, and not because I’m making you anxious..”
Chanyeol laughs. “Bit of both.”
“Don’t be scared. I would never hurt you.”
Baekhyun treats him with just as much care and attention as he did the first time, and Chanyeol can feel the love they're making as it fills the room, almost as though it has a physical presence. Whenever Baekhyun’s eyes meet his, they seem to glow with it. It tastes so sweet on his lips and tongue, far sweeter than anything Chanyeol has ever tasted; maybe because he knows their love belongs to the two of them, and the two of them alone.
“Please, slow down…” Chanyeol whispers; his back arches against the bed, his fingers and toes are curling, and he’s close… so close. He can feel that Baekhyun is too, but he doesn’t want this to end. Not just yet.
When Chanyeol does let go, Baekhyun is there to catch him, until one final push sends him over the edge as well. They hold each other in silence for a while, and when Baekhyun finally withdraws from him, Chanyeol immediately feels a fleeting sense of loss and emptiness. It quickly dissipates as soon as Baekhyun’s head settles upon his chest, and everything feels right again; he is physically and mentally exhausted, but so overwhelmingly satisfied that the warmth of it floods through him, making his whole body tingle pleasantly.
“I'd do that over and over, if it didn’t drain every last drop of energy right out of me,” Baekhyun whispers. He lets out a little hum of contentment and plants a kiss right over Chanyeol’s heart.
“It's okay,” Chanyeol replies, lazily stroking Baekhyun’s hair with one hand. “Once is enough for tonight.”
“It could never be enough for me. Whenever you're near me, my body craves you like I crave blood, but my heart and my mind both want you too. I really am crazy about you.”
“I know exactly how you feel. We're in this together, you know.”
“But I can't stay with you,” Baekhyun says quietly. “Now that there are people who know I’m a freak, it's not safe for me here.”
“When are you planning to leave?”
“As soon as I can.”
“Then I'm going to come too.”
“I can't ask you to do that. That would be asking for far too much..”
Chanyeol tilts Baekhyun’s head upwards until they’re face to face.
“You don’t need to ask,” he says gently, “because I'm offering. No, I’m not offering... that would imply that you have a say in the matter. I'm insisting, unless you tell me right now that you hate me, and want me to keep away from you forever. Then I'll stay away. Maybe. But I'm not making any promises.”
“But what about your show, and all your fans..?”
Chanyeol laughs. “All ten of them… What about them?”
“You have a life here. You can’t just get up and leave it..”
“I'll miss my show, and my ten listeners… of course I will. But I don't live for them. Anyway, I can always get another job.”
“A life of running away isn't much of a life, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun says sadly. “I would know..”
“But wouldn't it be better if you weren't alone?”
“I don't know. Being alone seems like a necessary evil, in my case.”
“I don't want to be alone,” Chanyeol says softly. “I used to think I did; that it was easier than being let down all the time, but I don’t want that anymore. I'm pretty sure you don't, either. It's okay to admit it, you know… needing someone doesn’t make you weak.”
Baekhyun hums in agreement and nestles his head against Chanyeol’s chest. “I know. Will you stay tonight..?”
“Are you scared?”
“No,” Baekhyun whispers, “I just want you here with me.”
“Then I’ll stay,” Chanyeol whispers back.
They lie there holding each other for a while until Chanyeol finally breaks the silence.
“Are you immortal?”
Baekhyun draws a shaky breath and holds it for a while. “What is this, question time..?” he asks, laughing.
Chanyeol pouts. “Don’t I have a right to know? I’m just trying to understand you better, that’s all.”
“I think you’re the only one who does understand me, to be honest… but no, I’m not. I am part human, after all, so I age like one. One day my heart will stop beating, just like yours will, but I’m happy about that, I think.”
“Well, that’s a bit morbid..”
“Maybe… but it’s true. Sorry to disappoint you.”
Chanyeol lifts one of Baekhyun’s hands to his lips and kisses it.
“I’m not disappointed…” he replies, “just curious. If I’m going to be with you, then I ought to know you better. But I can’t do that if you won’t open up to me a little.”
“I don't want to make you leave behind all the things you love and know just so you can be with me,” Baekhyun says quietly. “That's the last thing I want..”
Chanyeol ponders this for a moment in silence.
“Hypothetically speaking, if you had to choose between me and being able to perform, what would you pick?”
“If I had to choose between you and performing, my love, I’d never touch a piano again,” Baekhyun replies.
“Never?”
Baekhyun gently tucks a stray lock of hair behind Chanyeol’s ear and shakes his head.
“You could be my piano instead,” he says thoughtfully, and smiles. “I'd play you so beautifully, like no one else ever could, because you’re mine and I love you.”
Chanyeol laughs. “You’re crazy.”
“No I’m not..” Baekhyun pouts, but it quickly becomes a smile again.
“How would you play me?” Chanyeol whispers, and he grabs Baekhyun’s hand and holds it against the bare skin of his stomach, gradually moving it lower and lower. “Show me..”
“I'd use not only my fingers, but my lips, and my whole body…” Baekhyun whispers back, allowing Chanyeol’s hand to guide his own. “You would make such lovely, delicious, sexy sounds – much like the ones you’re currently making -- and only I would get to hear them. Every song would be just for me. And I’d expect a standing ovation after each and every performance.”
Chanyeol’s breath catches in his throat and he blushes. "I think I’m kind of giving you one right now.."
Baekhyun glances downwards and smiles at him knowingly. "I think you're right.."
"It's my special way of telling you I want an encore,” Chanyeol says, grinning sheepishly.
That night, Baekhyun gives him not one encore, but two.
+ + + + +
When Chanyeol wakes up the next morning, he feels warm and comfortable and happier than he’s ever felt, and he immediately rolls over to give Baekhyun a good morning kiss. But instead of a soundly sleeping boyfriend huddled under the blanket, he finds the other side of the bed neatly made up, with a piece of folded notepaper resting on the pillow.
Confused, Chanyeol reaches over and opens it.
‘I’m sorry. Please forgive me.’
Forgive him for what..? Chanyeol thinks, reaching for his phone to call Baekhyun’s number. It goes straight to voicemail.
And then the penny drops.
Oh god. Not again.
No no no no no no no…
Chanyeol leaps out of bed and is seconds away from running out the door; then he realises he’s wearing nothing but a rather embarrassing pair of boxer briefs with a big yellow Batman symbol emblazoned over the crotch. He throws on his clothes in a whirlwind of panic (he’s fairly sure he put last night’s crumpled shirt on inside-out, but who has time for minor details?) and hurries out of Baekhyun’s apartment. He runs down three flights of stairs, jumps into his car, jams the key into the ignition… and then it hits him that he hasn’t the faintest idea where to look for Baekhyun in the first place.
Where would he go?
Fuck. I have no fucking idea.
Think think think.
Chanyeol racks his brain for clues, but it’s no use. His panic-addled head can’t keep to a single train of thought for longer than a few seconds.
Not a single train of thought…
Train... Train!
He’s going to leave. He’s going to skip town again, and he’s planning to do it without me.
Chanyeol races off towards the station, his tyres screeching as he rounds every corner at speeds that would surely earn him a ticket or a license suspension if he happened to be caught. But he doesn’t care. He pulls up near the station and parks his car in a loading zone – he might get towed, but there’s nowhere else close enough – and rushes towards the ticket gates.
“Excuse me,” he asks the gate attendant breathlessly, “have you seen a man in his mid-twenties, about this tall, very pale, with black hair passing through these gates any time in the last hour or so?”
The attendant, a uniformed bulldog of a man, looks at Chanyeol like he needs to be institutionalised.
“I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific,” he replies, “I’ve seen quite a few people that could match that description.”
“Look… can you please let me through?” Chanyeol pleads, “I just want to check if he’s here. Please, it’s urgent..”
“Sure, I’ll let you through,” the attendant nods, and then his expression darkens. “But not without a ticket.”
Chanyeol doesn’t have time to argue, so he obliges.
As soon as he’s through the gates, he rushes up the stairs to the first platform and begins searching through all the waiting people, but Baekhyun is nowhere to be seen.
He’s not here. It’s no use...
I have to keep looking.
Then Chanyeol sees a small figure on the very last platform at the opposite end of the station. He squints his eyes, straining to see better.
That’s him. That’s got to be him..
Just as Chanyeol concludes that it’s definitely Baekhyun standing there, a train pulls into the platform, blocking his view.
Fuck. I can’t let him get on that train..
Chanyeol turns around and bolts back down the stairs into the station, making his way through the corridor to the platform on the other side. There are hordes of people walking in the opposite direction towards the gates, and he does his best to weave through them, bumping into the occasional person and earning several dirty looks sprinkled with a few muttered obscenities. He takes the stairs to the last platform three at a time, and when he finally emerges, Baekhyun is standing only a few metres away, with all his worldly possessions in two suitcases on the ground next to him. His keyboard case is slung over his shoulder.
The carriage door directly in front of Baekhyun slowly slides open, and Chanyeol reaches out and grabs his arm before he can hop on.
“Baekhyun, wait—”
Baekhyun turns his head and looks at Chanyeol in surprise.
“Chanyeol..? What are you doing here?”
“What are you doing here?” Chanyeol cries, “were you just going to leave again without telling me? Wasn't running out on me all those years ago enough for you..?”
“Chanyeol, please…” Baekhyun says, shaking his head, “don’t make this any harder than it already is..”
Before Baekhyun has time to pick them up, Chanyeol grabs the two suitcases off the ground and begins to hurry away towards the stairs. “I’m not letting you get on that train. Fuck that..”
“Chanyeol, what the hell are you doing?” Baekhyun snaps, latching on to Chanyeol’s arm in a bid to hold him back. “Give them back! I have to go--”
“No. I fucking refuse.”
“Fine, I’ll just leave without my shit, then. Now if you don’t mind, I’m kind of in a hurry,” Baekhyun says angrily, but Chanyeol tosses the luggage aside and makes a dive for his legs before he can get very far, wrapping both arms around them as tightly as he can, and nearly knocking them both to the ground in the process.
“No,” he whispers, his voice cracking audibly, and he buries his face against Baekhyun’s knees in an attempt to hide the tears welling up in his eyes. There are probably people staring at all the commotion they’re causing, but he doesn’t care. “Please, don’t go. If you go, I'm coming too. I won't let you leave me a second time.”
Baekhyun lets out a loud sigh and watches helplessly as the train finally pulls away from the station without him. As soon as it’s gone, Chanyeol releases his hold on Baekhyun’s legs and slowly gets to his feet.
“I was more than willing to forgive you for hiding all this shit from me, even though I had to live for years without knowing if something awful had happened to you,” he says quietly, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “And now you want to make me go through that all over again. Well, screw you.”
Baekhyun opens his mouth to speak, and immediately shuts it again, apparently lost for words. He looks guilty, and it makes Chanyeol feel a little better, if only briefly.
Good, he thinks. So he should feel fucking guilty.
I love him more than anything, but right now, I want him to feel like shit.
“You were my only friend. You don't know how that felt, how hard that was for me..”
“Yes, I do,” Baekhyun says, cutting Chanyeol off. He’s crying now as well. “I felt it too.”
Chanyeol cautiously takes a step closer, enveloping Baekhyun in his arms, and Baekhyun lets him. After a while, his own arms come to rest around Chanyeol’s waist.
“For the record, I wasn’t leaving because I don’t love you,” he says quietly. “I was leaving because you will never have a normal life, as long as you’re with me. And I can’t bear the thought of having to put you through that.”
“I don’t even know what normal is anymore, but whatever it is, I don’t want it,” Chanyeol replies, kissing the top of Baekhyun’s head. “‘Normal’ can go and get fucked for all I care… I’d rather have you. I’ll go to the radio station right now and resign. We'll get in my car, and I'll take you wherever you want to go -- at the crack of dawn tomorrow, if you want. Please, just promise you won't go anywhere without me.”
Baekhyun wipes his eyes and chuckles in spite of himself. “I promise. Do you even trust me after all I've done to you..?”
Chanyeol smiles. “Yes. Although maybe slightly less than I used to, if I'm honest.”
“I can't say I blame you. Also, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but your shirt is inside-out..”
“Yeah, well… I was kind of in a hurry. I was about to lose the love of my life.”
Another train pulls into the station without stopping, and they both watch in silence as it roars past.
“No more running away, okay?” Chanyeol whispers, wrapping his arms more tightly around Baekhyun and breathing in the sweet scent of his hair. “Not from me. Not anymore.”
Baekhyun nods quietly and rests his head against Chanyeol’s chest. “Okay.”
They stand there on the platform a little while longer, holding each other so tightly that breathing is hard, but letting go is so much harder.
+ + + + +
[Now’s your last chance, boys and girls. If you love me, let me know.”]
+ + + + +
Chanyeol looks up at the tacky neon sign flashing above the entrance to his and Jongin’s usual watering hole, and lets out a long sigh.
“You know what? I think I’ll actually miss this dingy old place..”
“So you’re really going, then?” Jongin asks.
“Yeah. A little sooner than I expected..”
“Right,” Jongin nods, “I see how it is. I stand up for the bastard all through this kerfuffle, and he repays me by taking you away from me.”
Chanyeol grins. “I can't give my heart to both of you, you know.”
“Yeah,” Jongin says with a sad smile. “I know. I'm happy for you, man. Make sure you come back to visit soon, okay?”
Chanyeol reaches over to ruffle Jongin’s hair, just the way he knows his best friend hates it, but he’s taken by surprise when Jongin immediately pulls him into a tight embrace.
“You’ll never hear me say this again, but damn, I’m going to miss having you around, you giant dope. Who am I going to swindle out of their money now?”
Chanyeol smiles and gives Jongin’s back a comforting pat. “I’ll miss you too.”
“Uh huh. Don't forget to thank me on your wedding day,” Jongin reminds him.
“I will,” Chanyeol replies. “And one more thing.”
“What’s that?”
“You still owe me a beer, you piece of shit.”
+ + + + +
“You know, when I said we could leave at the crack of dawn, I wasn’t really expecting you to take me seriously..” Chanyeol says, trying his best to stifle a yawn.
Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “Oh, you can hardly call 7 AM the crack of dawn. Anyway, it’s only a four-hour drive..”
“Says the person who doesn’t even have to drive..” Chanyeol mutters. “We’ll take a quick rest break soon, I think. Do you need anything? A drink, perhaps? A snack? A blood bag..?”
“No thanks, I’m all good. Why is it that you never hear good songs on the radio these days? That town should be in mourning; it just lost its one and only legendary DJ..” Baekhyun replies as he flicks through each and every radio station, rejecting them all after only a few seconds. “No, no, no, no, no. This won't do at all...”
Eventually Baekhyun gives up on his quest to find a song worth listening to. Instead he pulls out his mobile and dials a number, holding the device up to his ear, and remains that way for some time without actually speaking.
“Who are you calling...?” Chanyeol finally asks, unable to contain his curiosity, but Baekhyun only shakes his head and presses a finger to his lips.
"Yes, hello there,” he says at last, "I'd like to request a song. Yes. Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles... Yes, it's a dedication... Who for..?"
Baekhyun turns his head to look at Chanyeol. Their eyes meet only briefly before Chanyeol has to look away again to concentrate on the road ahead of him.
"He knows who he is…" Baekhyun says, smiling, and he promptly hangs up the phone and returns it to his pocket.
Chanyeol watches curiously from the corner of his eye as Baekhyun flicks through several more radio stations until he finds the one he's looking for.
“Ah, here it is..”
Soon afterwards, Chanyeol hears the opening bars of his favourite song.
Well, their favourite song.
“There,” Baekhyun says happily, leaning back to rest his head against the seat. “That’s better now, isn’t it..?”
Chanyeol merely nods in astonishment. He doesn’t have two words to string together for a reply.
Every so often he risks a glance in Baekhyun’s direction, watching the early morning sun shining on his lover’s face as he quietly sings along to the song on the radio.
“Here comes the sun, little darling… here comes the sun..”
________________________________________________
Pairing: Baekhyun/Chanyeol
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Romance, Vampire!AU. Sort of inspired by Let The Right One In.
Length: Four parts
Word Count: ~4,700
Warnings: Mild language, love scene (not explicit). Any lyrics used do not belong to me.
Summary:
“Baekhyun, it’s me,” Chanyeol says, knocking loudly on Baekhyun’s front door. “Let me in.”
The door opens a fraction, and Chanyeol sees an eye peer at him warily through the crack. Before he can open his mouth to speak, Baekhyun pulls him inside the apartment and shuts the door, making sure to lock it afterwards.
Chanyeol takes one look at Baekhyun’s pale, gaunt features, marked by stress and anxiety, and his own hardened expression softens instantly.
“So. Mr Mysterio,” he says at last, “any other secrets you want to get off your chest..?”
Baekhyun shakes his head and offers Chanyeol a weak smile. “No, I'm pretty sure that's the last of them..”
Chanyeol follows him into the living room – still mostly devoid of furniture - and makes himself comfortable on the floor. “Who the hell was that guy, anyway..?”
“Just some drunk idiot wanting to reveal my identity to the world, apparently,” Baekhyun replies, sitting on the floor next to him. “It happens now and then.”
“Shit. Do you think those people will be okay..?”
“I didn't hang around long enough to find out. I've never had someone actually attack me on stage like that before…” Baekhyun adds thoughtfully. “Sometimes I’ll get a few hangers-on waiting around outside my dressing room after a show, hoping to catch a glimpse of me coming out, but that’s the worst of it. Oh well. It was fun while it lasted, but I guess I'll have to think up another gimmick..”
“You played beautifully,” Chanyeol says quietly. “At some points I had tears in my eyes. Until I realised it was you all along, I was feeling sorry for you because you were missing out on such a brilliant performance.”
Baekhyun smiles wryly. “What gave me away? Was it the dude pulling my mask off, or..?”
“No, silly. It was that song. The same one you played for me that night...”
“You mean that night when I made sweet, passionate love to you for the first time, and then you walked in on me while I was covered in some unfortunate creature's blood?” Baekhyun sighs. “Yes, I remember it well.”
Chanyeol laughs. “Yep, that's the one..”
Baekhyun pauses for a moment to look at Chanyeol earnestly.
“I played that song for you, you know. I made a silent dedication to you inside my head, hoping to God you'd hear it somehow. And I wanted to tell you; I really did... when the time was right. But it just never felt right.”
“You know, I never asked,” Chanyeol says quietly, “but what brought you here in the first place?”
Baekhyun leans over to rest his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder.
“I knew you were living here…” he whispers. “I would listen to your show whenever I was in town for a performance, and I just wanted so much to bump into you again. Just once. And then I finally did, and... well... I decided to stay.”
“So you really did recognise me that day..?” Chanyeol asks, taking Baekhyun’s hand and stroking it gently.
“Yes. You’ve changed a lot since we were kids, but I recognised you instantly. I would never have had the guts to talk to you, but I never expected you to approach me, either. When you did, I was worried that it was because you somehow recognised me too, but it soon became clear that you didn't, and I thought maybe it was better that way. If I just kept quiet about my past, we could start over, and this time it wouldn't all be a lie. I wouldn't be pretending to be someone I'm not...”
Baekhyun sighs and squeezes Chanyeol’s hand.
“None of that matters now, though,” he says sadly. “I’ve gone and fucked it all up again, as usual.”
“Well, what about the vampire thing?” Chanyeol asks, “was there ever going to be a right time to tell me that?”
“I'm a monster,” Baekhyun replies, his voice barely a whisper. “You said it yourself. Why would you ever want to be with someone like me, if I’d told you the truth?”
Chanyeol opens his mouth to speak, but then pauses for a moment, lost in thought. Eventually he comes to the conclusion that there are still many things about Baekhyun he doesn’t really know: who he really is, where he really came from, what secrets he might still be carrying… but he is sure of one thing.
“I don't know,” he says, “but I do want you. I want you more than anything.”
“Well… which side of me do you want? Do you want me because I’m Taeyeon, or because I’m Baekhyun?”
“I want both of you… all of you. I don’t care who or what you are,” Chanyeol whispers, and he cradles Baekhyun’s head in both hands, kissing him softly. Baekhyun seems surprised at first, but then he closes his eyes and opens his mouth a little wider, his fingers lacing together around Chanyeol’s neck.
“I'm so sorry for calling you a monster,” Chanyeol says when they pause for breath. “To tell you the truth, I’ve met plenty of people who are the very definition of a monster, and you’re anything but. I loved you when we were kids, and I love you now. Nothing has changed. Well, I mean, you've changed … but my feelings for you haven't. Maybe I’m just a little surer of myself than I was then. Or maybe I just see these feelings now for what they really are..”
Baekhyun smiles and gives Chanyeol a playful little peck on the cheek. “You're rambling again, you know.”
“I know. I'm sorry... I’m not good at this kind of stuff..” Chanyeol replies, wringing his hands helplessly.
“Don't be sorry. I like hearing you speak, even when you’re not making any sense. I’ve really missed it.”
“Well, I’ve missed you too,” Chanyeol admits, “even when I was angry, I still missed you. I’ve missed holding you, and kissing you, and I was kind of hoping we could have a repeat of the last night we spent together. Right up until the part with the blood, anyway.”
Baekhyun smiles mischievously, biting his lip in that same infuriatingly sexy way he always does. “You still want me even though I’m a nasty bloodsucking freak..?”
“Those are your words, not mine – but yes. Yes, I really do.”
“Good enough for me,” Baekhyun replies, pulling Chanyeol roughly to his feet. Before Chanyeol has time to react, Baekhyun lifts him up as though he weighs nothing, and carries him to the bedroom like a groom carrying his new bride.
Well, this is different, Chanyeol thinks.
But I think I like it.
Chanyeol expects to be thrown down upon the mattress, but instead Baekhyun lays him down gently, pinning him against the bed and kissing him with great enthusiasm. Chanyeol moans softly in response, wrapping his legs around Baekhyun’s hips and drawing him closer.
“God, I love you,” Baekhyun whispers. “I really, really love you..”
“God loves you too,” Chanyeol whispers back.
“Shut up and kiss me..” Baekhyun purrs in his ear, and he begins to relieve Chanyeol of his clothing little by little.
Chanyeol can't get his head around it. How could someone so much smaller than him throw him over his shoulder with such ease one minute, and then undress him with such gentle reverence the next?
Had he really witnessed Baekhyun throwing a fully-grown man across the room earlier that same evening? It doesn't seem possible anymore.
I must’ve dreamt the whole thing.
It doesn’t even occur to Chanyeol to feel shy this time, and he joins Baekhyun in the task of removing both of their clothes, until there’s no longer anything between them -- just flesh against flesh, in all its varying textures -- soft and smooth; rough and calloused; peppered with welts or goosebumps, and shining with sweat. Baekhyun covers him from head to toe with kisses, and anyone would think they’d been apart for a hundred years instead of only several days.
Maybe several days feels like a hundred years when you're in love.
It’s all so emotionally overwhelming that Chanyeol feels like crying.
Baekhyun hesitates for a moment, his lips hovering just above Chanyeol's pulse. “Is it okay if I kiss you here..?”
“Yes,” Chanyeol replies, but he can’t help swallowing nervously all the same. "I trust you.”
For a second or two he holds his breath, half expecting to feel the sharp pain of Baekhyun’s teeth piercing his skin, but there is none – only the sensation of warm, moist lips trailing soft kisses over his throat and pausing at the base of his neck.
“I could feel your pulse speeding up just now,” Baekhyun whispers. “I hope it’s because I’m turning you on, and not because I’m making you anxious..”
Chanyeol laughs. “Bit of both.”
“Don’t be scared. I would never hurt you.”
Baekhyun treats him with just as much care and attention as he did the first time, and Chanyeol can feel the love they're making as it fills the room, almost as though it has a physical presence. Whenever Baekhyun’s eyes meet his, they seem to glow with it. It tastes so sweet on his lips and tongue, far sweeter than anything Chanyeol has ever tasted; maybe because he knows their love belongs to the two of them, and the two of them alone.
“Please, slow down…” Chanyeol whispers; his back arches against the bed, his fingers and toes are curling, and he’s close… so close. He can feel that Baekhyun is too, but he doesn’t want this to end. Not just yet.
When Chanyeol does let go, Baekhyun is there to catch him, until one final push sends him over the edge as well. They hold each other in silence for a while, and when Baekhyun finally withdraws from him, Chanyeol immediately feels a fleeting sense of loss and emptiness. It quickly dissipates as soon as Baekhyun’s head settles upon his chest, and everything feels right again; he is physically and mentally exhausted, but so overwhelmingly satisfied that the warmth of it floods through him, making his whole body tingle pleasantly.
“I'd do that over and over, if it didn’t drain every last drop of energy right out of me,” Baekhyun whispers. He lets out a little hum of contentment and plants a kiss right over Chanyeol’s heart.
“It's okay,” Chanyeol replies, lazily stroking Baekhyun’s hair with one hand. “Once is enough for tonight.”
“It could never be enough for me. Whenever you're near me, my body craves you like I crave blood, but my heart and my mind both want you too. I really am crazy about you.”
“I know exactly how you feel. We're in this together, you know.”
“But I can't stay with you,” Baekhyun says quietly. “Now that there are people who know I’m a freak, it's not safe for me here.”
“When are you planning to leave?”
“As soon as I can.”
“Then I'm going to come too.”
“I can't ask you to do that. That would be asking for far too much..”
Chanyeol tilts Baekhyun’s head upwards until they’re face to face.
“You don’t need to ask,” he says gently, “because I'm offering. No, I’m not offering... that would imply that you have a say in the matter. I'm insisting, unless you tell me right now that you hate me, and want me to keep away from you forever. Then I'll stay away. Maybe. But I'm not making any promises.”
“But what about your show, and all your fans..?”
Chanyeol laughs. “All ten of them… What about them?”
“You have a life here. You can’t just get up and leave it..”
“I'll miss my show, and my ten listeners… of course I will. But I don't live for them. Anyway, I can always get another job.”
“A life of running away isn't much of a life, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun says sadly. “I would know..”
“But wouldn't it be better if you weren't alone?”
“I don't know. Being alone seems like a necessary evil, in my case.”
“I don't want to be alone,” Chanyeol says softly. “I used to think I did; that it was easier than being let down all the time, but I don’t want that anymore. I'm pretty sure you don't, either. It's okay to admit it, you know… needing someone doesn’t make you weak.”
Baekhyun hums in agreement and nestles his head against Chanyeol’s chest. “I know. Will you stay tonight..?”
“Are you scared?”
“No,” Baekhyun whispers, “I just want you here with me.”
“Then I’ll stay,” Chanyeol whispers back.
They lie there holding each other for a while until Chanyeol finally breaks the silence.
“Are you immortal?”
Baekhyun draws a shaky breath and holds it for a while. “What is this, question time..?” he asks, laughing.
Chanyeol pouts. “Don’t I have a right to know? I’m just trying to understand you better, that’s all.”
“I think you’re the only one who does understand me, to be honest… but no, I’m not. I am part human, after all, so I age like one. One day my heart will stop beating, just like yours will, but I’m happy about that, I think.”
“Well, that’s a bit morbid..”
“Maybe… but it’s true. Sorry to disappoint you.”
Chanyeol lifts one of Baekhyun’s hands to his lips and kisses it.
“I’m not disappointed…” he replies, “just curious. If I’m going to be with you, then I ought to know you better. But I can’t do that if you won’t open up to me a little.”
“I don't want to make you leave behind all the things you love and know just so you can be with me,” Baekhyun says quietly. “That's the last thing I want..”
Chanyeol ponders this for a moment in silence.
“Hypothetically speaking, if you had to choose between me and being able to perform, what would you pick?”
“If I had to choose between you and performing, my love, I’d never touch a piano again,” Baekhyun replies.
“Never?”
Baekhyun gently tucks a stray lock of hair behind Chanyeol’s ear and shakes his head.
“You could be my piano instead,” he says thoughtfully, and smiles. “I'd play you so beautifully, like no one else ever could, because you’re mine and I love you.”
Chanyeol laughs. “You’re crazy.”
“No I’m not..” Baekhyun pouts, but it quickly becomes a smile again.
“How would you play me?” Chanyeol whispers, and he grabs Baekhyun’s hand and holds it against the bare skin of his stomach, gradually moving it lower and lower. “Show me..”
“I'd use not only my fingers, but my lips, and my whole body…” Baekhyun whispers back, allowing Chanyeol’s hand to guide his own. “You would make such lovely, delicious, sexy sounds – much like the ones you’re currently making -- and only I would get to hear them. Every song would be just for me. And I’d expect a standing ovation after each and every performance.”
Chanyeol’s breath catches in his throat and he blushes. "I think I’m kind of giving you one right now.."
Baekhyun glances downwards and smiles at him knowingly. "I think you're right.."
"It's my special way of telling you I want an encore,” Chanyeol says, grinning sheepishly.
That night, Baekhyun gives him not one encore, but two.
When Chanyeol wakes up the next morning, he feels warm and comfortable and happier than he’s ever felt, and he immediately rolls over to give Baekhyun a good morning kiss. But instead of a soundly sleeping boyfriend huddled under the blanket, he finds the other side of the bed neatly made up, with a piece of folded notepaper resting on the pillow.
Confused, Chanyeol reaches over and opens it.
‘I’m sorry. Please forgive me.’
Forgive him for what..? Chanyeol thinks, reaching for his phone to call Baekhyun’s number. It goes straight to voicemail.
And then the penny drops.
Oh god. Not again.
No no no no no no no…
Chanyeol leaps out of bed and is seconds away from running out the door; then he realises he’s wearing nothing but a rather embarrassing pair of boxer briefs with a big yellow Batman symbol emblazoned over the crotch. He throws on his clothes in a whirlwind of panic (he’s fairly sure he put last night’s crumpled shirt on inside-out, but who has time for minor details?) and hurries out of Baekhyun’s apartment. He runs down three flights of stairs, jumps into his car, jams the key into the ignition… and then it hits him that he hasn’t the faintest idea where to look for Baekhyun in the first place.
Where would he go?
Fuck. I have no fucking idea.
Think think think.
Chanyeol racks his brain for clues, but it’s no use. His panic-addled head can’t keep to a single train of thought for longer than a few seconds.
Not a single train of thought…
Train... Train!
He’s going to leave. He’s going to skip town again, and he’s planning to do it without me.
Chanyeol races off towards the station, his tyres screeching as he rounds every corner at speeds that would surely earn him a ticket or a license suspension if he happened to be caught. But he doesn’t care. He pulls up near the station and parks his car in a loading zone – he might get towed, but there’s nowhere else close enough – and rushes towards the ticket gates.
“Excuse me,” he asks the gate attendant breathlessly, “have you seen a man in his mid-twenties, about this tall, very pale, with black hair passing through these gates any time in the last hour or so?”
The attendant, a uniformed bulldog of a man, looks at Chanyeol like he needs to be institutionalised.
“I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific,” he replies, “I’ve seen quite a few people that could match that description.”
“Look… can you please let me through?” Chanyeol pleads, “I just want to check if he’s here. Please, it’s urgent..”
“Sure, I’ll let you through,” the attendant nods, and then his expression darkens. “But not without a ticket.”
Chanyeol doesn’t have time to argue, so he obliges.
As soon as he’s through the gates, he rushes up the stairs to the first platform and begins searching through all the waiting people, but Baekhyun is nowhere to be seen.
He’s not here. It’s no use...
I have to keep looking.
Then Chanyeol sees a small figure on the very last platform at the opposite end of the station. He squints his eyes, straining to see better.
That’s him. That’s got to be him..
Just as Chanyeol concludes that it’s definitely Baekhyun standing there, a train pulls into the platform, blocking his view.
Fuck. I can’t let him get on that train..
Chanyeol turns around and bolts back down the stairs into the station, making his way through the corridor to the platform on the other side. There are hordes of people walking in the opposite direction towards the gates, and he does his best to weave through them, bumping into the occasional person and earning several dirty looks sprinkled with a few muttered obscenities. He takes the stairs to the last platform three at a time, and when he finally emerges, Baekhyun is standing only a few metres away, with all his worldly possessions in two suitcases on the ground next to him. His keyboard case is slung over his shoulder.
The carriage door directly in front of Baekhyun slowly slides open, and Chanyeol reaches out and grabs his arm before he can hop on.
“Baekhyun, wait—”
Baekhyun turns his head and looks at Chanyeol in surprise.
“Chanyeol..? What are you doing here?”
“What are you doing here?” Chanyeol cries, “were you just going to leave again without telling me? Wasn't running out on me all those years ago enough for you..?”
“Chanyeol, please…” Baekhyun says, shaking his head, “don’t make this any harder than it already is..”
Before Baekhyun has time to pick them up, Chanyeol grabs the two suitcases off the ground and begins to hurry away towards the stairs. “I’m not letting you get on that train. Fuck that..”
“Chanyeol, what the hell are you doing?” Baekhyun snaps, latching on to Chanyeol’s arm in a bid to hold him back. “Give them back! I have to go--”
“No. I fucking refuse.”
“Fine, I’ll just leave without my shit, then. Now if you don’t mind, I’m kind of in a hurry,” Baekhyun says angrily, but Chanyeol tosses the luggage aside and makes a dive for his legs before he can get very far, wrapping both arms around them as tightly as he can, and nearly knocking them both to the ground in the process.
“No,” he whispers, his voice cracking audibly, and he buries his face against Baekhyun’s knees in an attempt to hide the tears welling up in his eyes. There are probably people staring at all the commotion they’re causing, but he doesn’t care. “Please, don’t go. If you go, I'm coming too. I won't let you leave me a second time.”
Baekhyun lets out a loud sigh and watches helplessly as the train finally pulls away from the station without him. As soon as it’s gone, Chanyeol releases his hold on Baekhyun’s legs and slowly gets to his feet.
“I was more than willing to forgive you for hiding all this shit from me, even though I had to live for years without knowing if something awful had happened to you,” he says quietly, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “And now you want to make me go through that all over again. Well, screw you.”
Baekhyun opens his mouth to speak, and immediately shuts it again, apparently lost for words. He looks guilty, and it makes Chanyeol feel a little better, if only briefly.
Good, he thinks. So he should feel fucking guilty.
I love him more than anything, but right now, I want him to feel like shit.
“You were my only friend. You don't know how that felt, how hard that was for me..”
“Yes, I do,” Baekhyun says, cutting Chanyeol off. He’s crying now as well. “I felt it too.”
Chanyeol cautiously takes a step closer, enveloping Baekhyun in his arms, and Baekhyun lets him. After a while, his own arms come to rest around Chanyeol’s waist.
“For the record, I wasn’t leaving because I don’t love you,” he says quietly. “I was leaving because you will never have a normal life, as long as you’re with me. And I can’t bear the thought of having to put you through that.”
“I don’t even know what normal is anymore, but whatever it is, I don’t want it,” Chanyeol replies, kissing the top of Baekhyun’s head. “‘Normal’ can go and get fucked for all I care… I’d rather have you. I’ll go to the radio station right now and resign. We'll get in my car, and I'll take you wherever you want to go -- at the crack of dawn tomorrow, if you want. Please, just promise you won't go anywhere without me.”
Baekhyun wipes his eyes and chuckles in spite of himself. “I promise. Do you even trust me after all I've done to you..?”
Chanyeol smiles. “Yes. Although maybe slightly less than I used to, if I'm honest.”
“I can't say I blame you. Also, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but your shirt is inside-out..”
“Yeah, well… I was kind of in a hurry. I was about to lose the love of my life.”
Another train pulls into the station without stopping, and they both watch in silence as it roars past.
“No more running away, okay?” Chanyeol whispers, wrapping his arms more tightly around Baekhyun and breathing in the sweet scent of his hair. “Not from me. Not anymore.”
Baekhyun nods quietly and rests his head against Chanyeol’s chest. “Okay.”
They stand there on the platform a little while longer, holding each other so tightly that breathing is hard, but letting go is so much harder.
[Now’s your last chance, boys and girls. If you love me, let me know.”]
Chanyeol looks up at the tacky neon sign flashing above the entrance to his and Jongin’s usual watering hole, and lets out a long sigh.
“You know what? I think I’ll actually miss this dingy old place..”
“So you’re really going, then?” Jongin asks.
“Yeah. A little sooner than I expected..”
“Right,” Jongin nods, “I see how it is. I stand up for the bastard all through this kerfuffle, and he repays me by taking you away from me.”
Chanyeol grins. “I can't give my heart to both of you, you know.”
“Yeah,” Jongin says with a sad smile. “I know. I'm happy for you, man. Make sure you come back to visit soon, okay?”
Chanyeol reaches over to ruffle Jongin’s hair, just the way he knows his best friend hates it, but he’s taken by surprise when Jongin immediately pulls him into a tight embrace.
“You’ll never hear me say this again, but damn, I’m going to miss having you around, you giant dope. Who am I going to swindle out of their money now?”
Chanyeol smiles and gives Jongin’s back a comforting pat. “I’ll miss you too.”
“Uh huh. Don't forget to thank me on your wedding day,” Jongin reminds him.
“I will,” Chanyeol replies. “And one more thing.”
“What’s that?”
“You still owe me a beer, you piece of shit.”
“You know, when I said we could leave at the crack of dawn, I wasn’t really expecting you to take me seriously..” Chanyeol says, trying his best to stifle a yawn.
Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “Oh, you can hardly call 7 AM the crack of dawn. Anyway, it’s only a four-hour drive..”
“Says the person who doesn’t even have to drive..” Chanyeol mutters. “We’ll take a quick rest break soon, I think. Do you need anything? A drink, perhaps? A snack? A blood bag..?”
“No thanks, I’m all good. Why is it that you never hear good songs on the radio these days? That town should be in mourning; it just lost its one and only legendary DJ..” Baekhyun replies as he flicks through each and every radio station, rejecting them all after only a few seconds. “No, no, no, no, no. This won't do at all...”
Eventually Baekhyun gives up on his quest to find a song worth listening to. Instead he pulls out his mobile and dials a number, holding the device up to his ear, and remains that way for some time without actually speaking.
“Who are you calling...?” Chanyeol finally asks, unable to contain his curiosity, but Baekhyun only shakes his head and presses a finger to his lips.
"Yes, hello there,” he says at last, "I'd like to request a song. Yes. Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles... Yes, it's a dedication... Who for..?"
Baekhyun turns his head to look at Chanyeol. Their eyes meet only briefly before Chanyeol has to look away again to concentrate on the road ahead of him.
"He knows who he is…" Baekhyun says, smiling, and he promptly hangs up the phone and returns it to his pocket.
Chanyeol watches curiously from the corner of his eye as Baekhyun flicks through several more radio stations until he finds the one he's looking for.
“Ah, here it is..”
Soon afterwards, Chanyeol hears the opening bars of his favourite song.
Well, their favourite song.
“There,” Baekhyun says happily, leaning back to rest his head against the seat. “That’s better now, isn’t it..?”
Chanyeol merely nods in astonishment. He doesn’t have two words to string together for a reply.
Every so often he risks a glance in Baekhyun’s direction, watching the early morning sun shining on his lover’s face as he quietly sings along to the song on the radio.
“Here comes the sun, little darling… here comes the sun..”
